The Wedding

 We were so excited to go to the wedding of Noah and Alice.  We know Noah's father as one of the instructors at the kids swimming lessons and Fidelma took Amie, to meet Mama Noah one day when they were walking by her house in Likoni.  Noah's family and Alice are members of the Mbaraki AIC church were we go occasionally.  We don't know the family that well, so we felt awkward going to the wedding.  Our trepidation was set aside quickly as we were warmly welcomed. 

We did not know what time to go to the wedding.  Fidelma said in the morning maybe around 10 or 11.  I, Jon, casually asked the pastor knowing time in Africa is different altogether and not wanting to offend him.  I "just sort of" brought it up in conversation asking what would be a good time to arrive.  The pastor kind of just shrugged at me, and said sometime in the morning would be good.  No problem right! Well, when you have kids and have to arrange things this gets complicated for us Canadians! 

We arrived at 10:45 am. Upon our arrival we didn't realize we would be an honoured guest.  Our friend, who pastors the church, took us to the pastor's office where other clergy attending the service were gathered.  We waited there, talking amongst our selves until the service was ready to begin.  Which eventually started around 12:45.  We were then ushered into the front row of the church of a packed out church!  Not the second row. The front row.  Clergy, involved in the wedding or not are treated with a lot of respect and honor.   This was a little unnerving and awkward especially because we would much prefer to be treated as everyone else.  But, we did not want to offend anyone and we just did what we were told.  The good thing about this situation was that we had no guessing about where to go and what to do. 

 So what was the service like?  It was really a service with a wedding in it.  We sang worship music until the bride came.  There was lots and lots of singing.  Choirs sang that represented the bride's local church and then the groom's church.  After singing for a while the procession began.  If you think people walk down an aisle slow in Canada come to Kenya!  It took about 25 minutes to have everyone slowly walk actually "dance" down the aisle.  It was really cool whether it was the matrons of honor or the best ladies. They each had their own song and did a real slow cool dance down the aisle.  It's like their moment in spotlight and everyone loved it!

The bride and groom then sat on opposite sides of the church with their family.  With a big table in the middle of them.  At the table sat the ministers who were officiating or who were acting as support.  The above picture is of the Grooms parents on their side of the church.  Each parent had a chance to greet and speak a word to the congregation before the actual wedding of the bride and groom. Below is a picture of the ministers and that's right the pastor in the middle is on a cell phone! Weddings are so different here.  It didn't seem to be a big deal that he was on the phone.  Everything is fluid in the wedding.  It's just life happening.  It's a beautiful moment but it's not like in Canada where we are trying to make it something more epic than it is.  The whole thing was very fluid from start to finish things happened that we were like what? Did that just happen?  Like when some of the bridesmaids were dancing down the aisle and another bridesmaid came scooting up the aisle with a bottle of perfume and sprayed all four of them with it.  No one even flinched when that happened.  Or everytime the choir went to sing they had the wrong background tract on the CD. So, they would go through about 5 or six songs to find the right tune for the choir. But, it's no big deal!  No horror on the bride's face.  This is life and this is their wedding.  Life isn't going to be perfect and neither is the wedding.  So, why create an idea of life that isn't reality?  Life and marriage are not perfect they are a bit messy, funny, eccentric even at times why shouldn't the wedding be a nutshell of actual normal life?? It was great we loved it!

 

The below picture is Fidelma, Amie's good friend.  She is in the choir and very good friends with Mama Noah.  We had a great time watching her dance it up in the choir as the celebrated the wedding. 

There were so many fascinating moments in the wedding this was one of them.  The presentation of the rings.  When the bride and the groom placed them on each other the did it high above their heads for all to see in the church.  A open declaration to all of their commitment.  Another intriguing moment that did not happen was there was no kissing! When we told Grace that when we returned she was shocked.  That's not a real wedding she trying to explain to us.  The kiss does not make them married! Instead of a kiss the bride unbuttoned the grooms jacket and put the wedding certificate they had signed in his inside pocket closest to his heart.  I think it was a sign that this wedding is more than romance it is about a covenant of love with each other.  As "special clergy" at the wedding I was invited to pray for the groom and the bride with all the other visiting pastors.  What a privilege to be right in on the action! 

 The wedding cake table.

 There were four tents set up in the yard at the church.  One tent for the grooms family, another for the bride's, another for the bridal party, and a fourth for, you guessed it, the clergy.  We felt a bit awkward again being separated from the people but this was no time for a statement to be made.  Just go with the flow. 

 The food was fantastic.  Kenyan food at it's best, pilau, rice, chapatis, stew, veggies, and a soda!  Being given a soda here is a very special thing.  When we visit friends here they will almost always go out and buy a little soda to share with us. A big sacrifice for any family.  We loved the simplicity of the whole thing.  A wedding is an all day event here.  But, everything just happened all at once.  After the service we walked out of the church.  It was then picture time! So for the next 15 minutes the MC just shouted out whose turn it was for pictures.  He moved the people are an army sergeant very effectively!  Then we ate!  After eating more music and dancing.  We will add video of it later.  The women of the church welcomed the new bride to their married women's group with quite a dance!  Very fun! Then, onto gift giving.  There is no table here for gift giving.  Each person presents their gift individually to the Bride and Groom.  When it was our turn we were heartily greeted and thanked by the bride and groom for coming.  It was a very special moment we were happy for them and thankful for the opportunity to share in this important moment in their life together. 

Its so hard to say it all for you.  If an event reflects its attendants this wedding summed up so much of what we love about Africans.  They are thoughtful, affectionate, spiritual, giving, frugal, thankful, and uninhibited. They dance and move and sway without hesitation. They shout and hoot and call with joy.  They hold hands while they talk to show they are with (alongside) each other.  There is always a smile and a hand to hold. They do life together.  Its messy and beautiful all at once.

Jon and Amie