When you only have a few weeks left to live in a country it changes your perspective on how you live. It's not like we have a bucket list or something like that but there is this ever-looming change that begins to figure into your decision making and emotions.
When we purchase things now everything runs through the filter can I bring it to Africa with me? If I can't what is the point of buying something to enjoy it or use it for such a short time. Which actually can be a very good exercise to put yourself through in a consumeristic culture like ours even if you are not moving to Africa.
Or considering the seasons. There is no next year to take the kids skating at the rink or build a snowman or have a snowball fight. Yes, there will be no more shoveling driveways and bundling up but when that is all you know there is a sense that I am missing something.
This one is hard to explain because it is at the emotional level. But, I quite often get waves of thoughts and emotions that have a sense of heaviness to them. It can be simple things like just seeing the kids walk the 2 blocks to school and realizing how special of a moment that actually is. Or other seemingly non-consequential moments that seem to have no significance but when you are living your last days somewhere you realize it is more significant than you ever could have realized.
Plus, I am taking these weeks to enjoy my coffee now. Especially my Tim Horton's coffee! Kenyans are known for being coffee growers but from what we have heard they are not actually that big of coffee drinkers. Tea is the drink of choice. So, I am just enjoying the coffee I have for now.
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