What's a Pre-Wedding? (Homestay #3)

In our first few days of staying with the Wambua's Isaac announced to me that we were going out one night to a pre-wedding committee meeting.  What's a pre-wedding?  I knew what the words meant but not exactly what a committee did and why.  So off we went one evening at around 7:30 to a little restaurant a short distance away from his place.  It was dark when we got there and we parked in a compound and climbed up some rattly metal stairs to the back of a large building where there was this eating establishment.  I never know how people find these places!  Anyway, when we arrived there was probably already 20-25 young people around a huge table sipping chai and discussing the pre-wedding.  Most of the speaking was done in Swahili so I just picked up pieces as they chatted.  There was one person in charge of the committee and he ran the show.  As Isaac explained to me the point of the committee is to raise money for the pre-wedding event, which in turn raises money for the wedding event! It's really a huge fundraiser and quite common for couples getting married here.  So, as it went on I discovered to be a member of the group each person had to make a significant financial pledge that would be fulfilled before the day of the pre-wedding event.  Also, the committee would make plans as to how to perform the pre-wedding event.  Throughout the meeting the chairperson delegated activities.  He also made sport with the rest of the members fining them for using their cell phones or talking with their neighbor and not paying attention to him.  Also, they would be fined if the refused a job delegated to them! They all seemed to enjoy it! I was thinking how different this is from home but how cool it is that these 25 friends come together to support their friends in marriage.  It really is a community event to pull off your wedding and bonds people together closely.

 Then two days later came the pre-wedding event.  It was supposed to start at 4 pm.  But, this is Africa and I have come to quickly realize start times are more like suggestions.  Actually, it isn't really a big deal most times either.  Once one keeps things in perspective that this is an event about people not the time.  Isaac took all of us over to the event at 5:30 pm, still not started.  The kids just ran around a bit in the compound and things got started around 6.  Before even entering the compound we had to pay just to enter the event.  All of the money going to the wedding for the couple to be.  Then, we sat and waited.  There was a short program some choir singing, a sermon, and a few other items until we got down to business.

Waiting for people to arrive

Let the program begin

This is Ian's idea of a good time

Rooster takes his place at the keyboard

Unfortunately, it was too dark for me to take many pictures.  Like this rooster one above.  Since it was getting late Amie and the kids went back home after the preaching and singing.  I stayed on with Isaac to watch how a pre-wedding works.  In a nutshell what happened was that people come with donations.  Every possible group in their local church makes donations by coming to the front and lining up before the MC.  People bring their donations and in front of everyone the MC takes the money usually announcing their donation and places it in a basket.  After each group would go the money would be taken to counters who worked the night keeping a running total of the money coming in.  So each group in the church went, families were invited to come, choirs were invited to come, friends, and any other possible connection. There was a special designated time for each person to come and some people went up a couple times.  They would line up single file and then begin the process of making their donation.  Then after that they did some raffles for gifts and then a really cool game of auctioning a cell phone.  Except each person could only bid 50 shillings.  So, one person puts 50 on the front table and then they "own" the phone until the next person places 50 on top of theirs.  Then it is the second person's phone.  This goes on for awhile until the MC feels it is getting close to the money they wanted to make on the phone.  Then according to Isaac the giving really picks up as people think they might have a shot at getting the phone for 50.  Whenever the MC says the game is over it's over and that last person gets to keep the phone!

Another interesting thing is that all the money raised at the pre-wedding is controlled by the pre-wedding committee.  The couple has to make a budget and submit it to the committee.  If the committee thinks the bride has budgeted to much on the dress they will tell her and she has to adjust to them!  It's up to the committee how it is to be spent and if there is a short fall the money must come from the committee's pockets.  So they have alot of ownership of the whole thing.  If there is extra money left at the end of the wedding they decide how to spend it.  Give it to the bride and groom which is common or something else.  One time Isaac said a committee decided to donate the extra money to a pastor/missionary working in a hard place in Kenya! It was a very new experience for us but we learned alot!  It was very cool to watch how people come together to help each other.  Kenyans are very generous towards one to another and help each other with the little they can.

Mercy and Grace